Health: Female Masterbation

What every girl should know -- and most parents won't want to discuss.
Guest Blog by K. I. Bruce-Ireland

Every time you masturbate a kitten dies, your ovaries shrivel up and you become infertile, you’ll get hit by lightening, a car and your late grandmother, you’ll die alone, you’ll loose your beauty and hair and if all that isn’t enough, when your sin-filled life is finally over, you’ll go to Hell. These are the things our mothers tell us to keep the showers short and make women think that one bad touch will bring upon the apocalypse. But when being lectured about the lonely life ahead of you, they never mention that self-fulfillment can be the best thing for a female’s libido. Masturbation is an important part of any woman’s sex life because of the positive health effects, the opportunity to learn new ways to reach an orgasm and because it can be very difficult for a woman to reach her climax with a partner.

    Not only does masturbation simply feel good, it has numerous positive health effects. Masturbation has been known to help against insomnia. Out of a study of two thousand, thirty-two per cent said that they used masturbation to help sleep. (9) It also gives you a mini cardiorespiratory workout, giving a quick jolt of intense heart beats, slowly building during masturbation and beating at it’s fullest through the duration of the orgasm which is approximately fifteen to twenty seconds. (9,4) Lastly it is a natural pain reliever, the sensation dulls the pain threshold, helping against headache and pregnancy pains like contractions. (9)  There are many more positive effects that make masturbation all the more appealing.

    Masturbation is the best way to learn about your body’s needs and desires. The first thing is to remember to have fun, if all you think about is reaching your climax then it will be harder to achieve. Masturbation is about having enjoying yourself and shouldn’t be stressed about. (8) The most simple way to masturbate is the use of a clitoral massage. This can be done by rubbing the clitoris with fingers, hand or an object, pinching is also is also a good way or using a handheld shower, though clitoral stimulation can sometimes be too intense. (4,3) Lastly is the use if a dildo, which is inserted into the either the vagina or the anus. Dildos come in many shapes and sizes, in ribbed or not ribbed, vibrating or not vibrating. (8,6) Knowing what your body needs is important and promotes a healthy sex life.

    Finding pleasure with any partner can be a challenge, where upon masturbation is the only way to orgasm. When dealing with this you must first realize that it is no one’s fault; there are many thing that could be causing it. The most common one being that the man is too confident. (7,5) Some other issues are more medical, such anorgasmia –  when you are unable to orgasm –  an injury, stress or guilt. (4, 1) The best way to help achieve orgasm with a partner is to masturbate. This helps you learn what your pleasures are, which you should tell your partner so they may better cater to your needs. (7,2) No matter your attachment to your partner or their skill level, a female orgasm can be hard to reach and you should never feel guilty about spending time on your own pleasure.

    The things under the bed will not come and smack you silly and yet many women are told tales such as this from a young age. Self exploration has many positive health effect, gives you the opportunity to learn about your body and helps with any problems reaching orgasm with a partner. Masturbation promotes taking time for one’s self, feeling good and understanding our own bodies.

“We know that more then seventy to eighty per cent of women and ninety per cent of men masturbate, and the rest lie.” - Joycelyn  Elders, June 5 2006. (10)

  1. "Anorgasmia." The Canadian Medical Encyclopedia. 1992., 1., 111.
  2. "" Available at: May 20Learning Masturbation. Our Bodies, Ourselves: Touchstone publishers, 2006.
  3. Maines, Rachel P. "Frigity" and Anorgasmia. The Technology of Orgasm: The Johns Hopkins University press, 1999.
  4. "" Available at: May 28.
  5. "" Available at: April 30 2010.
  6. "" Available at: April 30 2010.
  7. "" Available at: April 30 2010.
  8. Silverberg, Cory. "" Available at: May 1 2010.
  9. "wikiquote." Available at May 28.
A final note...
This was written by my daughter for Grade 8 Health. Her teacher asked me several times if I was okay with this. Actually, I'm very proud of her for taking it on. However, I do want to point out right now, I never told her a kitten would die or she'd get struck by lightning -- not even once. - AB


  1. I don't think she was referring to you specifically when she trotted out the kitten riff.... :P

  2. Her dad might say something like that (jokingly) but no kittens were harmed when I explained the facts of life to my daughter.

  3. I love Kate, shes so brave... I would still be blushing!

    And then the older cousin kicks in and wonders where the little blond girl went, and how a toddler can learn about masterbation.


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