On the seventh day of Christmas...
One week to Christmas! Ex or no ex, I had to go shopping. While I was out I heard the following report on the radio: "On the lighter side, dancers from local production of Swan Lake were invited to assist in a Twelve Days of Christmas montage. When it was revealed that they were to pose outside in icy water, they respectfully declined.
I rushed home.
On the seventh day of Christmas My True Love gave to me
Seven swans a swimming
Whew! My ornamental pond was full of half-submerged ballarina figurines and littered with feathers. I suspect he tried live swans first.